NEW: Wigan Matt: The Twitter Twat #1
I had to go on Twitter this morning. I did a tweet reporting how we crossed the border! Me and my two mates went in to Westhoughton and invaded the fruit and veg aisle in Aldi. We all had our ’tics shirts on and created a bit of a scene chanting “You are my sunshine”. Bolton bastards didn’t like it one bit, they all backed off in to the bread and cakes aisle.
There was one mon who wouldn’t budge so we shouted at him and shoved him around a bit. He had nobody with him so it was safe to pick him off. Their lads were nowhere to be seen as usual. If they’d shown up we’d have given them a right shoeing. We were well in the mood.
“Them steps were right in front of their town hall in Bolton. We took every one of them steps.”
It all made me think of that glorious day when we invaded the town hall steps in Bolton before a game against them. We just walked straight in and on to them town hall steps. Them steps were right in front of their town hall in Bolton. We took every one of them steps. Chalk both these brave acts up as proof that we always run them.
There’d have been one more of us in Westhoughton Aldi if our mate from Billinge hadn’t shed hot gravy all over his Lonsdales the night before. He went to A&E but they told him they treated people not tracky bottoms. Personally I think the A&E nurse was an egg-chaser. She saw our ’tics shirts and was biased against us right away.
That’s about all I've got time for. Altogether now: “Bolton get battered everywhere they go”. I love that song. It frightens the life out of them men from Bolton.
MATTY, WIGAN YOOF